Board of Directors 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (in Marina del Rey)
posted by Michael on Monday December 24, @03:59AM

Anonymous writes "Saint NIC ( sent us some holiday cheer. Read on...."

'Twas the night before Christmas in Marina del Rey,
When the Board and Staff gathered for a private say;
They piled into a room and closed the door,
And looked carefully 'round for bugs on the floor;
They peaked in the closets and looked under tables,
To ensure that no listening device was enabled;
When sure they were alone, free from public derision,
They settled in their chairs to make some decisions;
Chairman Cerf spoke first and tapping his glass,
said "Attention please, we have resolutions to pass;
First up tonight is to gut the At Large,
We'll drop them to six, to show who's really in charge;"
By a quick show of hands, the motion soon carried.
Now a minority of the Board, the At Large was buried;
"Here's another proposal. You'll like it, I think:
Let me stay in office forever," proposed Hans Kraaijenbrink;
"I've got one too," said Cohen, "And I think you'll be pleased.
Just like baseball let's contract a few TLDs;"
President Lynn proposed a toast to the Board's latest coup,
When suddenly a noise came from the chimney flu;
From the dust of the hearth, a little man appeared,
With a red suit, an empty sack, and a long white beard;
He stepped out of the chimney so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St. NIC;
He shook off the soot as he opened his sack,
And looked 'round the room from the front to the back;
He eyed the Directors and started to approach,
When Joe Sims intervened with a stern reproach:
"I'm sorry," he said, "You'll just have to go,
Only our quarterly meetings are open, you know;
So be off on your way taking toys to the tikes,
You can see us in Ghana for two minutes at the mike;"
The old man just grumbled as he continued his work,
And he grabbed Linda Wilson from her chair with a jerk;
He threw her into his bag in the blink of an eye,
And then he did the same to Jun Murai;
Next he gave Hans K. a quick tug and pull,
and popped him into the sack, which was becoming quite full;
"That's all," said NIC, "Continue your plotting,
But I've just put an end to further boardsquatting;
Who knew when I nabbed Fitzsimmons last year,
That you wouldn't even notice he was no longer here;
So this year, I've decided to do my job right,
And take all the squatters away on this cold winter night.
So don't test my patience again," NIC said with a snarl,
"Or next year I'll make sure we reelect Karl."
And just as quick as he'd come, he was off in a blink,
with a bag full of Wilson, Murai and Kraaijenbrink.
They heard his footsteps cross the roof as he returned to sleigh,
And as he took flight, they all heard him say;
"On the At Large elections, you've really disappointed
Because the Internet is for everyone, not just the anointed."
Happy Holidays,
Saint NIC (

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    'Twas the Night Before Christmas (in Marina del Rey) | Login/Create an Account | Top | 97 comments | Search Discussion
    The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them.
    Re: Jesus.Christ.Name NOT banned by ICANN
    by dtobias on Monday December 24, @07:50AM (#4347)
    User #2967 Info |
    Not at all... it's reserved by the registry "for creating awareness and proliferation of the .name concept", though they're allowed to allocate them to another entity during the life of the contract. The intent apparently is to allow it (along with the other such name, to be used for marketing purposes as examples of the use of .name. This appears to be by request of the registry, not ICANN.
    Re: Jesus.Christ.Name NOT banned by ICANN
    by fnord ( on Monday December 24, @04:28PM (#4362)
    User #2810 Info
    Dan, you should have known better than to try to explain how it works to these Anon types who are sufficiently unclued as to think this is an ICQ channel. Look on the good side, for Christmas last year mommy gave them a computer to play on, this year it will be an X-Box and they'll be too busy to imitate moronbots. -g
    Re: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (in Marina de
    by fnord ( on Monday December 24, @05:25PM (#4364)
    User #2810 Info
    This history lesson is all very well, Anon ghost of Christmas past, but what is your point? Are you bemoaning the loss of innocence, or making fun of those halcyon days, or randomly spewing snippets, or what? -g
    Re: Put it in the basket
    by fnord ( on Monday December 24, @05:29PM (#4365)
    User #2810 Info
    I think has the wrong season. The Esther bunny isn't due for a few months yet. -g
    Re: What is the RFC Reference ? Let's Confuse Ever
    by fnord ( on Monday December 24, @05:38PM (#4366)
    User #2810 Info
    They're talking about this. If you don't understand, that's OK. Go back to the GA list or ICANN forums where your witty repartie is sorely missed. -g