'Twas the night before Christmas in Marina del Rey,
When the Board and Staff gathered for a private say;
They piled into a room and closed the door,
And looked carefully 'round for bugs on the floor;
They peaked in the closets and looked under tables,
To ensure that no listening device was enabled;
When sure they were alone, free from public derision,
They settled in their chairs to make some decisions;
Chairman Cerf spoke first and tapping his glass,
said "Attention please, we have resolutions to pass;
First up tonight is to gut the At Large,
We'll drop them to six, to show who's really in charge;"
By a quick show of hands, the motion soon carried.
Now a minority of the Board, the At Large was buried;
"Here's another proposal. You'll like it, I think:
Let me stay in office forever," proposed Hans Kraaijenbrink;
"I've got one too," said Cohen, "And I think you'll be pleased.
Just like baseball let's contract a few TLDs;"
President Lynn proposed a toast to the Board's latest coup,
When suddenly a noise came from the chimney flu;
From the dust of the hearth, a little man appeared,
With a red suit, an empty sack, and a long white beard;
He stepped out of the chimney so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St. NIC;
He shook off the soot as he opened his sack,
And looked 'round the room from the front to the back;
He eyed the Directors and started to approach,
When Joe Sims intervened with a stern reproach:
"I'm sorry," he said, "You'll just have to go,
Only our quarterly meetings are open, you know;
So be off on your way taking toys to the tikes,
You can see us in Ghana for two minutes at the mike;"
The old man just grumbled as he continued his work,
And he grabbed Linda Wilson from her chair with a jerk;
He threw her into his bag in the blink of an eye,
And then he did the same to Jun Murai;
Next he gave Hans K. a quick tug and pull,
and popped him into the sack, which was becoming quite full;
"That's all," said NIC, "Continue your plotting,
But I've just put an end to further boardsquatting;
Who knew when I nabbed Fitzsimmons last year,
That you wouldn't even notice he was no longer here;
So this year, I've decided to do my job right,
And take all the squatters away on this cold winter night.
So don't test my patience again," NIC said with a snarl,
"Or next year I'll make sure we reelect Karl."
And just as quick as he'd come, he was off in a blink,
with a bag full of Wilson, Murai and Kraaijenbrink.
They heard his footsteps cross the roof as he returned to sleigh,
And as he took flight, they all heard him say;
"On the At Large elections, you've really disappointed
Because the Internet is for everyone, not just the anointed."
Saint NIC (NorthPoleNIC@yahoo.com)
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